Its time to close it all over again.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Scream or bang my head against the wall and break everything.

Everything I touch everything I do falls apart.

Sitting here alone with a bitter after taste of life

I feel the hate the anger The nightmare has come true.

There is no way to get out, nowhere to escape.

I can't make it all go away. I just want to hide and disappear

Gotta swallow it all once again its time to close it all over again.

I continue to do this to myself

Neither outside nor inside

I'm not safe

I can't trust my own instincts

I keep telling myself I'm not afraid

But I'm scared to death

There is always something there

A sound, a smell, a shadow, whispering voices

It's all so real in my head

I know that reality hurts and I'm afraid of myself

Afraid of losing control, afraid of letting go

So I lock myself up and suffer in silence

I repeat this goddamn pattern over and over again

I force myself to relive every nightmare, every drama

And I continue to do this to myself just to survive another day