Vandrar runt utan mål utan framtid! Ser världen utan för stanna upp. Se skrämda rädda människor. Undvikande tomma kalla blickar. Gator så lugna och fridfulla en underbar tystnad. är som hela världen sakta stannat upp tagit paus. En vårflod som slår hårt brutalt ingen skonas ingen går säker. En värld som slår tillback en domino effekt en kedjereaktion. Finns inget skydd ingenstans att fly! En värld i lågor ett brinnande inferno. En osynlig och dödlig fiende ett virus som inte går att stoppa. The Walking dead blev till slut en verklighet.
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fredag 3 april 2020
THE VIRUS!
Vandrar runt utan mål utan framtid! Ser världen utan för stanna upp. Se skrämda rädda människor. Undvikande tomma kalla blickar. Gator så lugna och fridfulla en underbar tystnad. är som hela världen sakta stannat upp tagit paus. En vårflod som slår hårt brutalt ingen skonas ingen går säker. En värld som slår tillback en domino effekt en kedjereaktion. Finns inget skydd ingenstans att fly! En värld i lågor ett brinnande inferno. En osynlig och dödlig fiende ett virus som inte går att stoppa. The Walking dead blev till slut en verklighet.
torsdag 2 april 2020
Blickar ! What the fuck is wrong whit me?
The psychologist stares I see how she studies and observes me. I feel her stare I see how she thinks. I smile to myself and think welcome in. Welcome to the madness step straight in! You opened the lid to pandora's box. Here come all the emotions at once. Everything that goes around in my overactive brain. There is no stop no end!. I cant stop it, I can not control it! It becomes like a hurricane of words and emotions Anxiety, fear, anger, frustration and despair. No red thread no order complete CHAOS! It bounces in all directions at once. First stop! A short pause and icy silence. Do you get flashbacks? WHAT! Then I hear the words PTSD. Noooooooooooooooo! Not again! How do I constantly manage to mess everything up. This has been a chaotic journey through life. Probably got all the diagnoses you can get. Talk about rubbing salt in my wounds! Last visit to the house that god forgot. Hyperactive supper stressed could not be stil unable to sit. Judgment a parody a tragedy, I don't know if i should laugh or cry. i don't like the drugs the drugs like me! All of a sudden I'm a drug addict and high as hell. What I AM ADDICTED! It begins again misunderstood and judged in advance. Who the hell needs drugs To roam around like a hyperactive rabbit on amphetamines. Recovery must rest! Spiked and hyperactive. Shock the psychologist again. No impulse control. Here we go again! I hear the words bipolar I shake my head a new one. I have to stop chasing answers for something that is so obvious and clear. But it's so damn hard to let go. I have been hunting and searching for answers all my life. An eternal search, looking for an answer to why I never felt safe or secure The feeling that something was missing. Damn fuck this shit complex trauma bipolar. And Autism That's me the real me! Time to stop searching and start living!
onsdag 1 april 2020
Dead Man's Letter!
RIght now!
What the hell !
Who is that staring at me Blood red eyes a soulless smile so familiar!! So twisted and tormented I see the fear, the scars, the smell of dec...
I am what i am!
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Me against myself I fight I break I beat myself up My head is a mess I'm a nervous wreck It is an eternal struggle I'm trying to fig...
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Everything that scares me Are such simple and obvious things I'm afraid to live afraid to feel I shut everything out, isolate myself, hu...
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I ran from the violence Into deathly silence I choked on my own fear I stopped breathing and hid in the dark I locked myself in, closed all ...
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I wish I could find a place deep inside myself Where I can I feel safe and secure no anxiety no fear Where I can pick up all the broken pi...
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I know every trick in the book I've tried them all but nothing works It just seems to make everything worse So don't use your sweet ...
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I want my heart to stop beating, I don't want to feel like this! I don't want to feel emotions. I don't want to think! I don'...