Shame on me for being me!!

I'm just trying to fit in. 

It was never good enough for anyone but me

So shame on you for destroing me

You never accepted me for who I am

You will never understand what it's like to be me

You took my life, my personality

So shame on me for being me!!

Who the hell do you want me to be?

It has never been good enough to be me

So who the hell am I supposed to be?

Why do I have to change? Distort my own identity

Just to fit into your normality.

Do not you understand you are hurting me

So who the hell do you want me to be?

Past the point of no return!

I have walked among others

I've been everywhere, and nowhere

I have been up and down high and low

I have fallen and risen I have done it all

And now I have past the point of no return!

Sick society!!

Fall in line

Be quiet don't speak

Become invisible a shadow an empty shell

Follow and obey, believe their lies

Ask no questions give up your soul

Sacrifice your hop and all your dreams

Lose your humanity and identity

Become a slave to a sick society!!

It's a dangerous road to walk alone!!

I see the pattern

I know what you're doing

It is a dangerous road that leads nowhere

I wish I could, make you see

I wish you could open your eyes

You can not avoid all your fears and anxieties

You can not continue to hurt yourself

This avoidant behavior you have created

Is destroying you from the inside out

It's a pattern of self destruction and I see it

I know all too well it's a dangerous road to walk alone!!

Suffering day in and day out!!

Nothing new!!

No better no worse

All you have? Just empty words,

Little white lies shine through

I know you know what's right

And yet you feed me with all the lies

You're just like everyone else

Too scared to tell the truth

Is it right that a child is suffering day in and day out

Because no one dares to speak their mind!!

Who the hell are you?

Strange phone calls

Footprints in the snow

Someone is watching me

What is this, what's going on

Who's the stranger outside my door?

Who the hell is lurking around

I know you're there watching me

So who the hell are you?

What do you want, what are you looking for? 

You were the trigger who started it all!

I tried so hard to hold everything together

But they hit me from all directions

They stabbed me in the back, kicked me to the ground

They spread lies, false accusations called me a monster

A suicidal freak That was just the beginning

Of all the things they said about me, they blamed me

I was the problem, the solution the simple sacrifice

They judged me for their failure, I became the scapegoat

A simple victim in a web of lies and betrayal

The worst part is that he lost everything

They call themselves family and look you in the eye and lie and lie

How can they even say that I was going to take his and my own life

I'm not you nothing like you,

So what gave you the right to open your mouth

To ruin someone else's life with false words and sick lies

You gave them the bullet and ruined a life

You were the trigger who started it all!!

I am nothing more than a memory!!

Forced to do it again

I tried to stand my ground

To be a better man to keep myself inside

To be everything to everyone except me

I gave everything I had to give

I sacrificed my identited suffocated my personality

I gave up my humanity my right to be

Now I am nothing more than a memory !!

Why do I always end up in a bottomless pit?

Who am I protecting?

What am I? Who should I be?

What should I do I'm not them I'm not you

I do not understand this why now why this

Why do I always end up in a bottomless pit?

I've dug too deep to get out of here

Deeper down the rabbit hole

Too deep I have dug my own grave

I can barely see the light

It's dark and cold down here

My darkest hour is almost here

And I've dug too deep to get out of here !!

No one has the right!

Who has the right to decide what is normal

The right to take your will your personality all that is you

Is it so wrong to be different

Who can decide what is right or wrong

Who has the right to judge others

To say it's not okay to be you

No one can say that what is right for you is wrong

No one has the right to say that it's not okay to be you

I will always love the real you 

A faceless man without a future

They have taken my rights

Taken everything left me in the dark

I have no identity I have no life

I'm an invisible ghost a piece of paper

A faceless man without a future 

This home is no more!!

Is it my choice my decision

Which is more important, Me or him?

To be forced to choose to make a choice

Between him or me my life or his

This is his home, this is where he belongs

I can not make that decision alone

I'm forced to make a choice that is not mine to make

It breaks my heart but this is my last resort

This home is no more it is gone like everything else 

I lost my everything!!

I can 't handle this

It's overflowing

It's too much a little too late

I drown in my own thoughts

There is no easy way out

I gave everything I had

Now everything is lost and gone

I lost my way I lost my everything 

Its name is loneliness!!

The unbearable Silence!

An Empty Room No one is home.

So unbearably quiet and empty.

A new feeling so scary and real.

A feeling I never thought I would feel.

So strong so painful. it hurts

It's a different kind of pain

Something i've never felt before

I am lost in a whole new feeling and its name is loneliness!!

Their truth is not mine !!

You do not know me

You have not even met me

In your eyes I am nothing

You judge me by the words of others

You assume that everything they say is true

I'm not the villain in this story

Their truth is not mine so do not judge me!!

A faceless voice says hang on!!

I can not afford to stay

I do not have the means to move

I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place

I do not know what to do to get through

But here I am waiting for an answer that will never come

The only thing that can save this home

Is a faceless voice says hang on!!

Everything's gone!!

Situation critical

Time ticks it's running away from me

Everything is crashing around me

It's too late it's gone too far

There is no solution, no way out

I'm losing my home now everything's gone!!

I do not know when I do not know how!!

I do not know where I'm going

But I know where I've been

It's funny how life keeps repeating itself

Through the good through the bad

There's always something there that reminds me

That in the end I always lose everything

Once again I escape, this time there is no safe place

I can not continue doing this to myself

I do not know when I do not know how but I have to leave this hell behind

Hell inside your head!!

Only you

No one else, It's just you

Your own fear your anxiety

The walls you built around you

The dark prison cell inside your head

It's just, you no one else can break this chain

No one else can get through,

it's up to you to break the chain of fear and anxiety

Tear down the walls and break free from this hell inside your head

Always remember, you are not alone!!

Always remember that

Do not forget the good times

Do not let fear drag you under

Keep your head high, be strong

You will survive this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel

I know it's hard to see through the darkness

I know that fear is suffocating you.

I know it's hard to see when you's drowning in your own anxiety

But always remember, you are not alone

You are not alone!!

Find yourself

Look deep inside

I know you're suffering

I can feel your fear and anxiety

I know you feel lonely and abandoned

But you're not alone I'm here

I'm waiting right here like I always do

I know it's hard I know how it feels

I've been there, I've seen everything before

I know how hard it is to fight alone

So try to understand you are not alone!!

What the hell is going on?

This is not a joke

I really need to know

What the hell is going on

I can 't take this anymore

I can not stand the silence

It's fucking with my mind

It's no joke, I can 't take any more of this

I have nothing left inside of me

So I really need to know what the hell is going on

Time is running out !!

Time is running away from me

Years passed by left me behind

Pit by bit It broke me down !!

It took my everything away from me

It left me empty and drained

They crushed the best part of me

They took it away from me. Left me here to fade away

And time is running out for me!!

In the end!!

Stop wait take a minute

Breathe before you speak

Do not open your mouth with fire in your eyes

Then you will be burned by your own words

So stop, wait, think before you speak

Or you will be burned for telling the truth !!

In the end truth will not set you free. The liars always wins!!

I'm losing everything but it's okay!!

I will not pray or borrow

I will not kneel or crawl

I'd rather starve and fade away, lose my home, my everything

Than falling back on my knees again

I will not ask for help, I will crash and burn

I'm losing everything but it's okay

I will still survive another day!!

Can you see the real me?

Can anyone see me

The real me the one I am the one I have always been

The injured soul the wounded boy who never grew up

Somewhere along the way I got lost I never found the way back

I got stuck in a life with false friends and shattered dreams

I was thrown into a world I was alone, and vulnerable

i had no one but myself it was just me myself and i

I was not ready to face the world I was not ready for a life alone

I was just a child from a broken home So can you really see the real me!!

I wonder why!!

I'm not part of your misconception

Are you so stupid that you can not see

It was never me it was always you !!

I'm not included I'm not part of this

I am left outside in the cold

I see no solution just confusion

Time ticks, runs out, nothing is all you get

How Can You Still Be So Blind?

The time is up !! and you failed again

I wonder why your solution only creates more confusion!!

I can't be still If I stop I lose!!

I'm an addict, in a panic

Every second every minute I'm everywhere

I'm an adrenaline junkie And I need a quick fix

No rest no brakes nothing that can stop it

I can't be still If I stop I lose!!

Nothing is me!!

The wall off forever !!

Broken bricks !! Missing pieces

Empty roads leading nowhere

Closed doors dark rooms

Dreams nightmares empty souls

Everything is nothing !! And nothing is me!!

The truth can set you free

Easy to say Hard to do

Your words mean nothing when they are not true

Why are you lying? Hiding the truth

I know too well I've seen it before

You've done it before and you'll do it again

You hurt yourself and hide the pain

So open your eyes and see, the truth can set you free

The only thing that can save you from this hell

Is you! and no one else!!

Here inside!!

I'm empty today

I have nothing more to say

I can not find the words

It's just another wasted day

Here inside my own prison cell

The weight of the world is killing me!!

There has to be!!

Something different, something better than this

Why am I here What am I waiting for?

Force me to see that this is all there is

This is hell This is life from here to eternity

It's not me or you it's them, the others

They suffocate me, they take my life, take my will

It is the weight of the world that kills me!!

Inside his own prison cell,he's killing himself!!

Everything about this is wrong !!

This painful silence is killing me

I feel it inside it is scary and dark

An empty room a broken mirror

A broken boy a broken home

Scars on his arms wounds that do not heal

Bloody knuckles bloody mess,

Evil thoughts in his head Demons under his bed

Nothing is good nothing is okay

Inside his own prison cell,he's killing himself!!

Will to live!!

You took his hop his will to live

You gave him fear and agony

Now he is hanging on a thread !!

And you put the rope around his neck

You crushed him in every way

Now he has lost his will to live!!

On the inside !!

I'm trapped in a void

It's dark in here !!

It's empty and cold

The silence has taken over

I'm here on the inside looking out

I can not find my way out

I'm trapped here inside !!

The ghosts of my past are my enemy!!

The demons and ghosts are a part of me

They will never set me free, if I do not let them be

So end this mess in my head !!

Stop the madness and make me see

That I'm chasing something just to be free

The ghosts of my past are my enemy

It's the little things!!

 It's easier said than done

To face the day and take a chance

It seems so simple To live and let live

The smallest things are not easy for me

They are the seed of my insecurity

They spread a disease inside me

Their name is fear and anxiety

It's the little things inside my mind that killing me !!

My greatest fears!!

I want to wake up !! I want to be normal

I want to feel something other than a fear

I want this nightmare to be over

I want to wake up to a new day a new beginning

I want to start over, I want to live again

I want to be able to set myself free from my greatest fears!!