I'm still here

I've tried everything!

I've walked down dark alleys

Danced in the gutter

In pursuit of self-destruction.

I was constantly looking for something

Home sweet suicide!! The demon alcohol

Whatever I could find to ease the pain

Always looking for a fight to be beaten

It was always easier to deal with physical pain

Bruises disappear and wounds heal

But psychological and mental abuse, violence and rape

Leaves a permanent scar that never heals

So don't call me a survivor this is not surviving

I died a long time ago and my life was stolen from me

I don't know how I made it this far but I'm still here

Darkness

I can't take it all in. I can't focus

I don't understand why I can't see I'm so blind

I'm afraid to admit it but I'm lost

I'm trying to reach out to grab something

I need direction and a guiding light

That leads me through all this darkness