It's so easy to fall !!
It's so easy to shut down emotionally
It's so easy to mask and hide to build walls lock and close all doors.
Hide and control all emotions, all impulses All the anxiety, the panic, the restlessness.
So easy to just leave everything and give up.
To Disappear into the shadows and become invisible again.
Behind all the walls and locked doors !! Where it all starts all over again!
There is nowhere to run or hide! No safe place !!
Do not touch me there!
Do not get too close, stay away from me
I feel disgusting, dirty and disgusting!
The stench !! The scents of body fluids and sweat never go away!
I scrub, I wash, I tear, I cut deeper It does not go away!
I will never be clean! I'm disgusting I'm dirty
I try to get rid of the shame, the anxiety the constant feeling of discomfort
So please do not touch me!
All I got was the only thing I learned !!
Where violence solves everything! That love and hate are one and the same
That sex and violence go hand in hand.
That emotions and empathy are something that does not exist
Where security and trust is to be silent, bow and pray
That the only way to survive was to emotionally shut down
To live in hell and never know where or how the monster will strike again
This is what I learned was normal I never understood that there was anything else
Than physical and mental abuse !! This is a legacy no one deserves
I just wish someone had dared to take me away from the living hell I had to grow up in
Who is that staring at me Blood red eyes a soulless smile so familiar!! So twisted and tormented I see the fear, the scars, the smell of dec...
