It's all the same to me!

They keep asking the same thing!

How should I know or feel any difference

This is how it has always been, it's just me

I do not even know if I am awake or dreaming!

Is this my reality, my life or just a bad dream?

I do not know the difference! So how can I answer that question ..

When I do not even know the difference between pleasure and pain

Love and hate and everything in between. This is me! who I am

The one I've always been! So how the hell am I supposed to be able to answer!

Am I depressed Am I suicidal This is my life my reality

This is how it has always been, this is me. So pleas don't even ask that question

 I do not even know the difference between misery and happiness

It's all the same to me! I was born with depression and I will die with depression

It's a lifelong struggle but I'm still alive and struggling!

I Can’t break my bad habits.

 

Will try not to let it upset me!

I will try not to ponder everything over and over again.

leave all impressions, reflections all memories behind me.

But still, I spend all my time thinking about you.

wondering how you feel if everything is okay.

If you are alive or dead? I Can’t  stop thinking

It does not matter how much I try to fight against

They still break through, sneak in and take over!

I really shouldn't fight against my own feelings and thoughts.

I'm well aware that I should not feed my own addiction!

But I can not help it! it's a part of me.

I know all these things I really do!

But Can not help that I'm addicted to you

Without you by my side, I Can’t  break my bad habits.

You are my addiction!