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måndag 31 augusti 2020

I have to live with the fear!


I do not know if I should!

Smash everything bang my head against the wall

Everything I touch falls to pieces The nightmare has come true.

There is no solution, no way out I can not save him

On the inside, I fall apart I'm trying to look him in the eye

Without tears without fear. Explain to him that everything will be fine

You can do this! I know you'll make it. For a second I meet his eyes

I hear his screams! I hear the words no one ever wants to hear.

From their own child! (I kill myself) It breaks my heart tears my soul to pieces. 

Those words will haunt me foreverAnd there is absolutely nothing I can do about it

I have to live with the fear of never knowing!

Back on square one again!


 I can not explain!

All experiences all emotions

Anxiety all fear the constant panic

Everything I went through

There are no pictures No words

That can describe or explain

The emotional chaos

There is no rest no peace

Nowhere to escape or hide

Caught in a vicious circle

No safety net. No help!

A journey full of violence

Physical and mental abuse.

A journey no one would understand or survive!

But I live I breathe! This is my life, my reality.

One Two Three As always Back on square one again!

RIght now!

What the hell !

Who is that staring at me Blood red eyes a soulless smile so familiar!! So twisted and tormented I see the fear, the scars, the smell of dec...

I am what i am!