I am autistic not a disease !!

I no longer know what is true.

Everyone says different things that mean nothing

Everything I hear is incomprehensible and it makes no sense att all

Everyone says how they want me to be. that I need to change my behavior and adapt

Everyone says you can if you want to. Can what change all that I am?

So lost in my thoughts. So confused So damn tired of all the words everyone's judgmental looks.

What are they trying to say what do they want what the hell do they mean.

Just a bunch of words that mean nothing, Yes I know yes I understand!

it has no significance att all !! So understand me see me !!

I'm not like you I do not work like you. I can not become something I am not

I know what's true! I know who I am and always have been. So please see the real me !! 

And try to understand that what you ask of me is something that can never be

I am autistic not a disease !! So understand it is not me who needs to change and accept it is you !!

The choice is simply time to sacrifice myself again!!

I need something!

I do not have time to give myself a minute to stop. I have to think!

So give me an hour a month a year. Wishful thinking there is no time there is no stop.

Everything slips out of my hands. I lose my grip I lose control of my emotions

split and divided into 2. Two ways two lives so little time!

On with the mask again !! Try to shut down all emotions and thoughts

Put me in the back seat bow and pray. Play a game I do not want to play.

For one of us must survive! I must be able to fight for my son's right to a normal life

So the choice is simply time to sacrifice myself again. Here we go again!