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torsdag 5 november 2020

If it does not work, there are 1000 more !!


Literally physically ill from stress

The constantly rising anxiety so restless and confused

I get no answers no explanation! Just total silence

A week later still nothing! Still staring at the fucking phone

No follow-up !! Just trying to accept that they do not care

It's always the same! White lies promise that are never fulfilled

What if I were suicidal I really do not understand how they think

Have repeatedly tried to explain that antidepressants never worked

That it just makes everything increase. So fucking tired of no one listening or hearing what you're trying to say.

Instead, you are humiliated and declared an idiot

Take your medicine bow and pray! I know what you need

Listen to me !! If you get sick from one, we will cure you with another

And if it does not work, there are 1000 more !!

They create more anxiety more stress!!


When all batteries have long since run out.

You stand on your knees trying to be strong.

You fight day and night without getting anywhere

You walk around in circles, afraid of losing what is left.

Fighting against a goal that feels impossible to achieve.

But the fear takes over too easily. and everything is repeated again

When trust is lacking and words disappear

They do not see a difference between my autism and anxiety

There is a part of me nothing I can change or alter

They do not see or understand that this is the downside of being autistic

They judge give me diagnosis after diagnosis.

They do not understand that they create more anxiety more stress

Which is the last thing I need I already have constant anxiety

Thanks to their lack of understanding

onsdag 4 november 2020

It scares me that people can not accept something they do not understand!!


It scares me

That people are so narrow-minded

That they cannot see, hear or understand

It scares me! To see the lack of knowledge

The lack of understanding and acceptance

How can a doctor in today's societies not know

That there is nothing that cures or removes autism

There is no medicine or magic pill

It scares me that people can not accept something they do not understand

It is not a disease it does not disappear

I may not fit the norm that is considered normal

But I'm a person I have feelings just like you

And it scares me to see the lack of understanding in today's society

And it does not matter who or what you are

We all deserve to be accepted for who we are

RIght now!

What the hell !

Who is that staring at me Blood red eyes a soulless smile so familiar!! So twisted and tormented I see the fear, the scars, the smell of dec...

I am what i am!