You were the ones who ruined his life!!

Thanks to you, he has got bacterial fear

Thanks to you, he has developed a self-harming behavior

Thanks to you, he is suicidal and terrified

And you still blame me !! For everything you have created and done

It was a physical assault that started it all and I told you so

I said clearly that you have to stop and rethink and find another way

Instead, you wanted to start all over again, repeat everything again!

I asked if you know what the definition of insanity is

To repeat the same thing over and over again and expect a different result

And you made it very clear that I had nothing to say about it

Even though I said I was not okay with him staying at that school

Which literally triggered everything from the start

And after that nothing worked and you put the blame on me

Then began the threats of coercion that only increased his strees and anxiety

Instead of giving him a chance, you just made everything worse

It's pretty painful that you do not understand !! That you were the ones who ruined his life

And yet you see no signs of suicide!!

It's weird that I'm the one who lacks everything

Is the only one who always brings out everything you miss

How can you not notice that a child cuts himself and injures himself

Even though I have repeatedly said that he is suicidal

You continue to say that you do not see any signs and that the risk is low

How fucking blind are you all the signs are right in front of you

He has locked himself in his room, he no longer takes care of his hygiene

He neither eats nor sleeps properly. He has constant anxiety

So many signs so clearly so easy to see and understand

And yet you see no signs of suicide!!

You do not even give him a chance to express himself!!

It hurts!!

To always be minimized criticized

Accused of not being good enough lacking in everything

I have done everything myself without support or help

I have supported encouraged motivated helped him in every way

I have been his voice his security I have fought for his rights

I've done all the things you say I have not done.

I was the only one he had the only one who did not abandon him

The only one who stuck around and never betrayed or gave up

I may not have the social skills but it's part of my autism

All you saw was my anxiety and strees which are also part of autism

You claim that you can not see the differences in what is my or my son's problem

It only proves the lack of understanding and knowledge

For our problematic is one and the same !! We both are autistic!!

So what you are saying is that I am lacking in everything because of my Autism

And the only thing I've ever done is be the best father I could ever be

I may not fit into the picture of how you think it should be

But that image is me and it's all because of Autism

So what you're telling me is that because of my disability I'm not good enough

What do you think it sends for signals to a child who is just like me

To be told that it is not okay to work and be who he is

That the one he trusts and wants to live with The only one who is still fighting for him is lacking in everything

Who is constantly trying to get his son's own words and voice to be heard and understood

The only one who gave him everything you say I did not do

I'm not the one who has not listened, it's you you never gave him a chance

Not even now are you listening to him and you still think you know what is best for him

Without even giving him a chance to express himself