I have consumed and lost everything.

I have never felt safe. Never dared to let anyone get too close.
A constant readiness an inner fear of being hurt and abandoned.
Constantly on the run from everything and everyone.
 An eternal struggle to suppress and hide everything inside
I do not want to remember I don't want to see or feel
I don't want to experience everything over and over again.
A whole life on the run! Always on the running from myself. 
My brain is constantly spinning. Thoughts that never end
It's gone too far! To many years! There is nowhere left to escape.
I have consumed everything all roads all emergency exits.
There is nothing left. Onel fear panic anxiety. I have consumed and lost everything.